


These Sleepless Hours

by coldgreydawn



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Case Fic, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Investigations, Missing Persons, Murder, Murder Mystery, Police, Post-Episode: s02e05, Private Investigators, Roommates, Sexual Content, Sorry Not Sorry, Surgery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:56:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldgreydawn/pseuds/coldgreydawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie can't sleep and her life takes a curious turn because of it. AU after 2.05.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waves Against the Wharf

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly cracky. Apologies in advance! Came to me one night while I was falling asleep.

She woke in a panic to waves crashing against the wharf. Her hand went to her chest, trying to slow her breathing. She was momentarily confused. She was not at the flat; it was smaller here, with books and papers on the wall. 

Her heart skipped a beat. _Fred!_ But then she turned to see him sleeping peacefully beside her in the green  & blue travel cot she'd lugged over for the night. 

Then she remembered. Hardy's little hut on the water's edge. She couldn't sleep at the flat, their discovery of the incinerator at Portsmouth in the Thorps Agriservices warehouse had left her unsettled. And with Tom gone over to the defence, her little boy wanting to go on the stand, she hadn't wanted to be alone. 

Hardy had dropped her at her flat. He'd wanted to check on both Claire and Ashworth before turning in for the night. Apparently Ricky Gillespie had beat the living shit out of Lee, who was living rough in some farmer's field. Ellie couldn't bring herself to care that much about any of them. 

So, as soon as he left, she'd taken the cot, and Fred, loaded them in her car and headed straight for his gaff.

He'd been surprised but not particularly put off upon discovering the two Millers in his house an hour later. Especially after Fred's loud chorus of “Ack! Ack!” had welcomed him in the door. Ellie swore she'd even seen a hint of a smile crease the corner of his mouth as he passed them.

She'd stopped on the way and picked up a few things from the shop to replace the food she'd eaten, and then she'd made them dinner. She put Fred down and they'd eaten in near-silence, both still mulling over what they'd found, all the while, trying to push thoughts of Tom from her head.

“We need to find Gary Thorp,” she'd said, and he’d nodded.

“If he's still alive,” Alec had returned.

“Did you question him?” she’d asked, stabbing at a tomato wedge with her fork and shovelling it into her mouth.

“No. I’ve told you, we didn’t know about Thorp,” his exasperated reply had come back and she decided to say no more. Tomorrow they'd get into this. Right now they were both knackered.

After supper she'd all but collapsed on the sofa next to her son's bed, sleep finally catching up to her after she'd avoided it for so long. “Night, Alec,” she’d heard herself say in the darkness as she'd watched his retreating form. She’d fallen asleep before he could reply, assuming, of course, he'd even bothered.

She checked her phone. _4:35 AM. Bloody hell._ There would be no getting back to sleep now. Soon the sun would stubbornly start its rise above the horizon, the pinkish glow signalling to her that she'd failed in securing any sort of rest for herself for yet another night.

She sat there, in the dark, thoughts of her oldest son now difficult to keep at bay. These were the hardest hours of the day for her. These sleepless hours, with no one to talk to, nothing to do. She couldn't switch the light on for fear of waking Fred, and Hardy would be none too pleased if she attempted to wake him now. She'd probably give him a heart attack, anyways.

So she listened to the waves and an image came to her—her family, back when it had been all four of them, on another coast: Tom, Joe, Fred and Ellie in Florida, walking along the beach. It had been evening, warm and muggy, and they'd all had a busy and enjoyable day. Tom had walked between his parents, Fred in her arms. She'd looked down at her oldest son to see him beaming back up at her, a wide, exuberant smile on his face. His little eleven-year-old baby face that she so missed. 

It was the last time she'd seen him look at her like that. 

Because they'd left the next day, and that night, after they’d gotten settled, Joe had snuck out and murdered Danny Latimer. Ellie had gone to work the next day to find a dead boy on the beach.

Then suddenly Tom was almost a teenager, well into his twelfth year now, his voice beginning to change. He'd grown half a foot since in the months since Danny's death.

And now he was going to stand before those women and half the town and if either side didn't like what he said they'd rip him apart. Her little boy. What if he said something that got Joe off? Or something that cast doubt on her? Oh, she didn't even want to think about that. If Joe got off because of Tom he'd never be forgiven, no matter that he was barely out of puberty. She'd have to move him across the country.

Oh, her poor darling boy. Her heart broke for him every minute of every day, ever since that day she’d told him the awful truth. That his father was a murderer. How could his growing brain reconcile that with the loving, attentive man who had never let him down before? 

_Oh, my baby, my sweet baby boy._ Tears came then, for the first time in a long time, real, wet, salty tears quickly falling from her eyes and spilling down her face, soaking into the front of her pyjama top. She struggled to quiet her sobs as she wept, thinking of her and Joe, in the beginning. The hope she saw in his eyes. Tom’s birth, one of the happiest days of her life. There was so much possibility, so much anticipation for the future. She had loved that man with every fibre of her being. Fred's birth had just solidified the bond, completed their little family. 

And now they were scattered, like leaves in the wind across this stupid bloody town.

A hand on her shoulder nearly stopped her heart and she barely stifled the scream that bubbled up when she saw Alec Hardy’s brown eyes looking down at her in the gloaming.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” she hissed, shrugging his hand off her shoulder and angrily brushing the tears from her eyes. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry,” he said, under his breath. “You alright?”

“No, I'm not bloody alright,” she said, standing and moving to the kitchen where a box of tissues was sat invitingly on the table. She grabbed several and dried her wet face, blowing her nose loudly. “I'm never, ever, ever going to be alright again. And the sooner I realise that the better off I’ll be.” 

“Miller,” she heard him say as she blew her nose one last time, “it'll get easier.”

“Will it?” she asked, her voice low and dangerous. She felt dangerous right now, like a caged animal. She wanted to scream, to break things; she wanted to run. She didn't want to do this anymore, this half of a life, watching her family and this town be torn asunder. She didn't ask for this. What had she ever done to deserve this other than live her life well, do her job well and be a good mother and wife?

The tears came again and she reached for the tissues, flopping down in one of Alec’s kitchen chairs as she mopped at her face. 

“Ellie—”

“Don't call me that.”

“Ellie,” he said again, stubbornly, and she glared at him across the dimly lit room, “you've been handling this well.”

“No I'm not. I haven’t been. I'm coping. I'm pushing it out of my head, I'm distracting myself, moving from one thing to another.” She looked up at him and could see genuine concern there. And curiously, for once, it didn’t piss her off. “I miss Tom, Alec. I miss him so much. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my house. I miss my job.”

He sat down next to her at the table, running his hands through his unruly hair. Then he sighed and dropped his arms to the table, leaving most of it sticking straight up on his head. She tried not to smile.

“I know,” he said. “I miss all of that too.”

She nodded, knowing he spoke with as much sympathy as he could muster. His wife may not have killed anyone, but her infidelity had nearly ruined his life. He’d lost his job, his marriage, his daughter, his reputation. His health. He’d been blamed and recriminated and hated. Just as she had. Just for doing his bloody job. And, she supposed being a bloody fool who couldn't see what'd been going on right under his nose.

On impulse she reached forward, grabbing for one of his hands resting atop the table. To her surprise, he didn't pull away. But then she supposed that she'd never really tried to touch him before. It had always been him. And she'd always turned him away. She clasped it in hers, finding the contact not all that objectionable, and she looked up to see that he didn’t either.

He gave her hand one last squeeze and stood up, releasing it.

“Come on, Miller,” he said, “time for bed.”

“It’s nearly half-five, now!”

“Still have time to get a couple of hours before Francis—”

“Fred!” she half-shouted, getting a smile for her efforts. “Oh, you do that on purpose, don’t you?”

He ignored her question, offering her his hand, and she glared at it for a moment before taking it. She got up and made for the sofa but he pulled her back, back toward the rear of the little house.

“I thought you said—”

“Come to bed with me, Miller,” he said, so nonchalantly she stopped dead in her tracks. “You shouldn't be alone tonight.”

“What?”

“It’s not like we’ve not done it before,” he said, a touch of irritation creeping back into his voice. She scoffed. “Everyone already thinks we’re shagging, better to give ‘em something to talk about.”

Ellie just stood there, their hands still clasped together, staring at the man before her. 

“Who _are_ you?” she asked.

“Alec Hardy, used to be a police officer. Dodgy heart. Worked with this woman called Miller. Curly hair, cried all the time,” he tried to dodge her free hand, but failed, and Ellie slapped him hard on the shoulder.

“What I mean is why are you being so nice to me?”

“I’m always nice to you.”

“Alec, I’m serious. It’s seriously freaking me out!”

“Because you’re letting me be,” he said, tugging on her hand. When she resisted, he stilled. “The sofa's rubbish, Miller. And I need you well-rested if we're going to follow up on the Thorp lead later today.”

She scoffed at the absurdity of the situation. But she supposed he was right. The sofa _was_ rubbish. She hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in weeks.

So she followed him into his room, taking in the double bed, which in her current exhausted state looked incredibly inviting. She paused, watching Alec as he walked around to his side of the bed. _His side_ , she thought, _as if we’ve been married for years._

She climbed in slowly under the covers, noting that Alec was doing the same. Her pulse quickened. There would be no duvet separating them tonight.

She could feel the heat radiating from his body as he settled in beside her, and she was surprised at how badly she wanted to bridge the distance between them. It had been so long since she’d been held by someone in bed she’d started to think she would have to sleep alone forever. They were just inches from each other now, she on her side facing him and he on his back. 

He turned to look at her, the two of them taking in the familiar yet decidedly unfamiliar position they found themselves in. Then, he nodded his head toward his side of the bed. She hesitated for a second, then closed the distance, snuggling up beside him and wrapping her arm around his middle.

He was surprisingly warm and much thinner than she'd expected him to be, but she could feel wiry muscle move beneath his skin when he shifted. 

She giggled. Couldn't help it. Here she was, in bed with her former boss mere months after he'd arrested her husband for murder. But she didn't want to think about Joe now, or anyone else for that matter. For now she relished in the feeling of another’s body next to hers. Even if was Alec Hardy’s. 

He turned his head to look at her in the dim light, their faces now mere inches away. She could feel the breath he exhaled on her cheek.

“What?” he asked, his voice low and soft. 

“This should feel weird.” 

“It doesn’t?” She could feel the vibrations of his words as he spoke and it made her smile.

She shook her head. “What ‘bout you? You find this weird?”

He hesitated, then slowly shook his head from side to side against the pillow. 

“I thought you ‘ated me,” she said, “well not hated. Tolerated me. Didn’t have anyone else.”

“I think you know you're more than that to me, Miller. And how you could think I could hate you...” he shook his head in disgust. 

“But you're an arsehole to me—”

“I'm an arsehole to everyone.”

She watched him as he watched her, his brown eyes shining in the twilight. “So what are you saying?”

“I'm not saying anything, why do I have to say anything? Why do we have to label this?” he asked, gesturing between the two of them. “We’re just us.”

“Us," she repeated, trying out the word, “us.” She paused. Waited. Thought about it. “So you do have feelings for me? Romantic feelings? All this time.”

He groaned, and rolled his eyes. “Miller!”

“Oh my god!” 

“What?” he sounded almost offended. 

“You do! You—I thought you fancied Claire.”

He looked at her with confusion and disbelief. “Claire? No,” he shook his head. “Learned that lesson a long time ago.”

“So you did sleep with her.”

“Maybe.” he said, his tone light. “But if I did it made me sure I'd never do it again. You've seen the two of them.”

“I have.”

“I took care of Claire because she could get me my life back. My reputation, my daughter—”

“Your wife?”

He scoffed and shook his head. “No. I lost Tess a long time ago. Before the affair.” He sighed and looked her in the eye. His next words were halting, nervous almost. “The fact that you're still here means you're not—put off by the idea.”

Ellie smiled. “No, I guess I’m not. I thought I would be, I mean, when they accused us. I never thought of you that way before.”

“And now?”

“I don't know. I know this feels nice. I know I like being around you. You treat me like you've always treated me. I guess...I sort of love you for that.” His eyes locked on to hers at this admission. “I know I wouldn't have gotten through this without you. Even if I am afraid you're going to drop dead on me at any moment.” He looked away. “And I really am afraid of that, Alec,” she said, reaching out to cup his face and force him to look at her. “More than a lot of things. I need you to stick around.”

He nodded, his hair mussing against the pillow as he did so. Then he leaned his head forward and kissed her, his lips touching hers so softly she could scarcely feel them.

She froze. This was new territory, Alec Hardy kissing her. She couldn’t think. Then she felt him pull away and, coming to, slipped her hand round the back of his head, pulling him toward her. His lips were surprisingly soft, though his beard and whiskers tickled her as his lips moved against her. She giggled at that and he pulled back, a flash of hurt in his eyes.

“Sorry,” she said. Stroked his cheek. “Your beard.” He leaned into her touch almost in spite of himself, her hand caressing the side of his face. “You know, I quite liked that,” she said, surprising even herself.

“Did you?” he asked. She nodded. And before she could think of what to say next, his lips were on hers again, pressing insistently against her mouth. His hands snaked around the back of her, pulling her to him, up against the length of him. 

When she felt his erection against her thigh she gasped. Alec pulled away from her for a second, catching her eye. His cheeks were flushed and she could see it in eyes. _He wanted her._ And like that something between them snapped. Some barrier that had been keeping them where they were. Suddenly need filled her, hot and insatiable. 

She wanted him, Alec Hardy, had for a while. The realisation hit her hard. When she met him she’d been married and hadn’t been looking for anything else. Dirty Brian’s question had sent her for a loop, made her think, against her will, of the possibility of stepping out on Joe. And who had she been compelled to tell about it? Alec bloody Hardy. 

She’d been repressing it, she supposed. The way she kind of liked how the breeze tousled his hair. The depth in his brown eyes, the freckles hidden beneath his beard, dusting over his nose and cheeks. His body, so lanky and rangy and definitely not something she'd usually be into. But she’d started to think about him again after the accusations at the trial. Couldn't help it. What it'd be like. She’d attempted to keep her distance after that but it hadn’t lasted. He was her only friend. She was just supposed to stay away from him now because everyone in the town thought they were having an affair? Not bloody likely. 

She ground up against him, smiling as a groan came from deep in his throat.

His tongue pressed between her lips, sweeping around her mouth as she tried to get her bearings. It was heady, being this close to him this quickly. Heady and just fantastic, really. He was a really good kisser. This she'd discovered with surprise and delight. It was odd, she supposed, translating their relationship to this physical one. But bodies knew what to do, instinctively, responded to each other without thought. Chemistry. They'd always had plenty of that. 

Still, it was hard to believe. Minutes ago she’d been crying in the dark and here she was— _oh_. 

His hand had slipped into the cotton waistband of her pyjama bottoms and had sliding over her hip, ghosting over the skin there before trailing down to her centre. He'd pressed his hand against the unruly curls before slipping a finger inside and against the sensitive nub. 

She gasped against his lips then. They were fast approaching the point of no return. This was a whole new situation they were putting themselves in. She pulled away from him for a second while his fingers continued their exploration. “Should we be doing this?” she asked him in a breathless whisper. 

“Considering the circumstances, Miller, probably not,” he said against her ear, sending shivers down her neck, “but I don’t know if I can stop now.” 

“What ‘bout your—”

“Miller, I swear if you say the word ‘condition,’” he hissed as his fingers continued their slow massage against her clitoris.

“What if you die on me?”

“Only one way to find out,” he said, slipping one finger inside her.

“Alec!” she breathed, “I'm serious!”

“We'll take it slow,” he all but purred, “I promise.”

She sighed against his ear as he slipped another finger inside her, his thumb pressing down on her clit. 

She made up her mind.

She reached into his pyjama bottoms, her hand running the length of his hip before moving down to grip him in her hand. His breath hitched.

From there it was a haze of breath and pleasure, and when he entered her she gasped his name.

He kept his word—they took it slow. They were on their sides, facing each other, Ellie with her leg hitched over his hip.

She couldn't help but compare this intimate coupling to the drunken, disappointing shag she'd resigned herself to a couple of weeks ago. She and Alec were right up next to each other, watching each other with each lazy thrust. In comparison, she couldn’t even remember that sad sod’s name.

It was not what she'd expected, in the few fevered fantasies she'd had of him after Sharon Bishop’s shocking allegation in court had accused them of sleeping together. It was much softer, slower. Gentler. 

But it was nice. She'd have thought it would be awkward, considering their previously platonic, adversarial relationship, but their bodies already seemed curiously attuned to each other, totally in sync. It was almost like the way they worked together, the give and take, always knowing what the other needed and when. 

He kissed her roughly as he thrust into her, and the moan, deep in her throat, made his lips smile against hers. His fingers trailed back down along her hip, slipping down to where they were joined. Ellie whimpered.

Their lazy rhythm began to quicken as he continued his ministrations between her legs, Ellie felt his breath hasten against her cheek and his fingers on her clit as he drove into her. He kissed her again, deeper this time, his tongue wrestling with hers. She could feel herself getting closer the edge.

“Come on, Miller,” she heard in her ear, a breathless whisper, “come for me.”

She moaned and that was it; she came hard around him, whimpering into his neck as her walls tightened and contracted. He groaned then, and his thrusts slowed, his breath coming in gasps. He jerked his hips against hers and collapsed against her, both of them breathing heavily, sweaty and sated.

It was a few minutes before either could speak, as the haze of arousal began to fade and the full implications of what they'd done began to take hold. Something occurred to her, but Alec spoke first, voicing the concern before she could speak.

“You're not on the pill, are you?” he asked, and Ellie turned to look at him, surprised at the fact that he didn't sound particularly concerned about it.

“No,” she replied. She sought his gaze in the brightening dawn. “I'm forty, Alec. My periods have been irregular since I found out about…Joe. Too much stress. I think we'll be alright.”

He laughed deeply, the vibrations reverberating against her chest. It was a sound she was unfamiliar with, his laughter. It was one she hoped to hear more of. “Miller, how would you say our luck has been lately?”

“Pretty shit,” she said, smiling in spite of herself. They were both silent for a while. She mulled it over and found herself almost unable to care. What with everything that had happened since they met. All the horrible things that continue to happen. “Ah, well. With Tom away at Lucy's Fred could use a little baby brother or sister to keep him company.” 

Alec laughed, shaking his head incredulously. “Daisy always said she wanted a baby sister.” He turned to her, that same punch-drunk smile on his face.

“Are we actually considering this?” she asked. Her heart pounded, a curious mix of anxiety and something akin to hope filling her. 

“I think we’ve already considered it, Miller,” he said. She laughed at this, at their poor judgement. The way things worked out. The way her life had turned. She felt a curious lightness at the thought of a new life in the midst of all this death and anger. All this shit. A new baby, free of all the sins and failures of its parents. A new start, for all of them. 

“You're getting that surgery,” she told him, tapping on finger against his chest. She flattened her hand against his skin, frowning at how quickly his heart beat. How that was normal for him. “I won’t be left to raise two children on my own. Three, if Tom comes around.”

“He will,” Alec assured her. 

“And Daisy, too,” she told him. “When we solve Sandbrooke and clear your name, and you stop acting like such an unbelievable twat around your ex-wife she’ll want to be around you more. Want to meet her new sibling, if there is one. You're not going to die on her, Alec. She's at a delicate age.” When she looked up at him, he was gazing at her curiously.

“You're so sure we'll solve it.” 

“I am. We will. We’ll put things right. We’ll get our lives back. Once and for all.” At this, he reached forward and kissed her, hard, his fingers lacing into her curls, cradling the back of her head. She pulled away after a few seconds, flushed. “And you're getting that surgery. Deal?”

He laughed then, his eyes shining back at her in the pink glow of the sunrise. It was a new day, and she'd never seen him look so alive. “Deal,” he repeated, and he pulled her head toward him to kiss her again.


	2. Sandbrook Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part A of 2.06

They actually managed to get a few hours of sleep that night before Fred woke them with his cries. She arose to get him, bringing him back to bed with her a bottle clutched in his little hands. She'd been trying to wean him off it, but she still had a couple tins of the really good formula with the fatty acids that were supposed to make him smarter that she'd give him on mornings like this.

Alec was awake when she came back, blinking up at her blearily as she deposited the toddler next to him. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

Fred, bottle in mouth, turned and started tapping Alec's nose with his free hand. Alec caught her eye and she smiled. Something passed between them as the boy continued to touch his new friend's face, apparently quite fascinated by it now.

“You ready for this?” Ellie asked, gesturing to the boy. “Being a dad again?”

“I've always been a dad!” he protested, and Fred's hand went to Alec's mouth, deciding that was more interesting.

“You know what I mean,” she said. “Feedings and changings and getting up in the middle of the night. This one'll be walking soon, tearin' round the house.”

“I remember those days,” Alec replied, slightly wistful. He reached up to gently remove Fred's hand from his mouth. “Daisy was a terror.”

She smiled at that as Fred finished his bottle, waving it in the air and nearly smacking Alec in the face with it in the process. Ellie reached over and snatched him up, pulling him into her lap.

“I am ready,” Alec told her. She turned to look at him. “Even if there's another one coming along. I will be, in time.” She nodded at him, touched by his conviction, but now wondering about her own. In the cold light of day things looked different. Another baby at her age? She'd thought she was done with all that. Ellie shook her head. No good to think about it now. Alec had sat up and joined her on the edge of the bed.

“I've got to take him to the minders' now and head out to work. Might not get time today to follow up on Sandbrook, but I’m off tomorrow,” she told him. “You ready to go back there?”

He nodded.

“Okay,” she said, stroking her son’s blond curls. “I’ll see you later.” She made to get up but Alec's hand fisted in her t-shirt and pulled her back down toward him.

He kissed her before she could protest, moving his hand to the back of her head and angling his mouth to deepen the kiss. After a few seconds, Ellie pulled away, her cheeks hot and her lips swollen. She sighed deeply, looking up at the rumpled Scot sitting next to her.

“That wasn’t a dream last night, was it?” she asked. He shook his head.

“No,” he said. “It wasn't. I’m glad it wasn’t.” Ellie smiled, her cheeks reddening.

“So am I,” she told him. She stood, shifting her son to her hip. She leaned down and gave Alec a quick peck on the temple. “I’ll see you tonight. Take care of yourself.”

“I will do.”

She took Fred to the childminder's and went to work, sending Lucy a quick text. Her sister promised to let her know as soon as she got word when Tom would go up in the box.

Work in Devon was simply going through the motions. She needed the paycheque. Her head swirled with thoughts of Alec, of their night of unprotected passion while she doled out traffic tickets disaffectedly.

She supposed she could have easily slipped out to the druggist and got that pill, the morning-after one, but she felt at her age, there was no excuse. She’d made her bed, so to speak. Not to mention there was precious little time to stop in and purchase it, in between picking up her son and returning to Hardy's house to make dinner.

The timing was not ideal, that she could admit, but then again she had no plan for her life these days. When would be a good time to have a baby with her former colleague, anyway? The two things that mattered most right now were the trial and Sandbrook. When those were over and done, plans could be made. And if those plans included a new addition to the family, so be it.

She received the text early the next morning from Lucy. _They want him on the stand today._ Ellie read it while Alec slept soundly beside her. She'd stayed the night again. She groaned. At least she didn't have to work today. She was already so distracted and moody she was sure she would be getting a stern talking-to from her Detective Superintendent any day now.

She dropped Fred at the minders’, getting another text from her sister as she walked back to the car. _Should be around 1 o’clock,_ it said. She froze. Four hours. Her pulse quickened. She called Lucy back, telling her she was changing her mind. Tom would need her there.

“He says if you come, he'll ask you be removed from the room,” Lucy told her, and Ellie sighed, deflated. _Of course he would,_ she thought. She hung up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't want to make a scene in the courtroom, have the whole town see firsthand what a shit mother she was. She took a deep breath, then started the car to go pick up Alec.

“Let’s go,” he said as he jumped into the passenger seat. Ellie hesitated. She knew what that town did to him. What the Gillespie girl’s death and the discovery of her body continued to do to him. Not to mention the fact her firstborn son was going to get up into the witness box while she was gone and she should be there for him, no matter what the little shit said.

But she put the car in gear and set off down the road nonetheless.

Σ

Some time later she watched him stare into the river he’d retrieved the lifeless body of Pippa Gillespie from years before. She knew he was reliving it, in his head, as he probably did night after night. She reached out and grasped his arm as he stood on the riverbank, stepping over next to him. She knew she couldn’t comfort him, take those thoughts from him just as he couldn’t change anything about Joe. But she wanted him to know she was close.

After a little while, he turned and she released his arm. He went over the area with her, the access points and the remoteness of it. She nodded and checked her watch.

"What time's Tom going in the witness box?" he asked and she told him. “We could get back in time,” he said, as they walked.

She told him what Lucy’d said, somewhat ashamed, and he apologised. It helped. She knew he had insecurities about his own parenting skills.

Then it was all about the case again. Bluebells, Claire bloody Ripley. She was so tired of that woman, her volatility, her inability to control herself around a man who she was purportedly afraid of _and_ who could have very well killed those two girls. She didn’t trust her. So she told Alec to put some pressure on her. She was curious to see how she reacted. Something had to give.

Then her phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket. _He’s going in now,_ was all it said. Her stomach dropped. She sighed and put it back in her coat.

“Call Claire,” she told him, and he did.

Σ

When they got back into town he dropped her at the Gillespies'.

“Where’re you going?” she asked.

“I’ve got to meet with one of the other officers on the case,” he told her, avoiding her gaze. She scoffed.

“If you’re meeting up with your ex-wife, you can just tell me that,” she told him.

“Fine, I’m going to ask her for help. We’re close, Miller, I can feel it.” Ellie nodded.

“Okay,” she said, “don’t be long, though, please? Gillespie’s an arsehole and his wife’s not much better.”

“I know,” he said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“Be nice to her, Alec, please. She’ll probably be more inclined to help someone who's not such a massive wanker.”

“Duly noted, Miller,” he replied, slipping the car into gear and driving away. She sighed and turned toward the Gillespie home, steeling herself, and went up to ring the doorbell.

Σ

Tess handed him the flash drive and he pocketed it, asking her about Thorp Agriservices while knowing he was pushing his luck.

He barely registered her stern refusal before dropping the bomb. Him, hospital, tomorrow, pacemaker. He held his breath as he watched her reaction.

Surprise, panic, a little bit of concern. It was all there. It was what he expected. Distant.

“Well, um, good luck,” his former wife told him and he knew she meant it. It’d been a bolt from the blue to her, surely, but he’d had to do it. Just in case. Just as he’d had to call Jocelyn the day before to make a slight amendment to his will after Ellie’d gone to work.

As he watched the woman in front of him, this woman to whom he’d once pledged his life to, he felt a slight twinge of sadness. The man he’d been two days ago would be debasing himself right now, scared and alone and just wanting to be a family again.

But so much had changed, now. If they could make it work, he’d have a new family soon enough. If Ellie didn’t maim him for keeping the operation a secret from her. _If_ he made it through in the first place.

“Thank you,” he told her, taking a sip of his tea. She was watching him curiously; had been watching him, really since he’d told her about the surgery. He frowned at her.

“Something’s changed with you, hasn’t it?” she asked. He sighed. Was it that obvious? He’d tried to keep his face that practiced mask of neutrality touched with irritability. “You’ve met someone?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told her, his tone brooking no further argument.

“But—oh, Alec, you didn’t,” she said, and he frowned again.

“Tess,” he started, not wanting to get into this now.

“It’s Ellie Miller, isn’t it?” she asked, and he looked anywhere but at his ex-wife. “It is! Alec!” she exclaimed, and he looked at her warily. “Her husband is on trial for murdering an eleven-year-old boy!”

“I know that,” he said, losing his patience now. He could not believe she was going to start to lecture him over his choice in lover, considering her history. He sighed.

“And you arrested him.”

“I know _that_ , as well,” he told her, now getting angry.

“How long has it been going on?”

“How is that _any_ of your business?” he returned, staring her down. Blue eyes bored into brown eyes until finally she looked away. They sat in silence. “Not long,” he told her after some time, his voice low. When he looked up, her expression had softened.

“Do you love her?”

“Tess!”

“I’m only curious, Alec, and surprised, I suppose. I’d heard the defence accused the two of you, but I never believed it.”

“It wasn’t true then,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He _really_ had not wanted to get into this with her now. Ellie was probably currently trying to keep the Gillespies from murdering each other, probably with a smile and that sickeningly sweet demeanour she could put on if need be. He smiled, involuntarily, at that image. Then he looked up at Tess. “I do,” he said, “I do love her.” He watched her expression go through the usual stages: shock, surprise, concern, perhaps a tinge of possessiveness. Something in him flared up and he had to tell her, had to explain this to her, now.

“She has been through hell and back, Tess. They were very much in love, the two of them. Went over for dinner once. Then I had to tell her her husband had killed her son’s best friend. Her friend's son.” He paused as Tess took that in. “You know Joe was a stay-at-home dad? Quit his job to stay home while she worked. Boys adored him. She went from that, to a single mother with no house to live in, in a day. Hours, really. Her friends turned on her, her son turned on her. Everyone in that town thinks she was in on it. And you know what she wants to do? Help me solve this case.” Tess smiled at that, shaking her head. “She puts up with all the shit I throw at her, with all the shit everyone throws at her, and she just takes it. She throws it right back at me sometimes, but she just puts up with it. She’s the only friend I’ve got in that town, the only one I trust. And two nights ago she told me she was going to solve this case and get me my life back. Why? I don’t know. I know I don’t deserve it.” He stopped, sighed, took a quick sip of his tea. “That’s why I love her. Didn’t go looking for it, Tess. Just happened.”

Tess Hardy raised her eyebrows, shaking her head again. “Wow,” she said, looking back up at him. “Well, I am happy to hear that, Alec, contrary to what you might believe.”

He really didn’t know what to believe right now. He knew this woman in front of him had caused him _so_ much pain. She’d taken a piece of him that he’d never get back. He’d thought at times that maybe someday they’d’ve been able to put it behind them, that after he solved Sandbrook they could be a family again. He’d be lying if that hadn’t crossed his mind. But now he saw in the genuine smile Tess gave him that she was happy for him. And not just happy, there was relief there, after the initial territorialism. She wanted this for him, and had for some time.

“Did you tell her about the surgery?” Tess asked, and Alec shook his head silently. Tess took a sip of her coffee before speaking again. “Is she the reason you’re doing this now?”

“I booked this two weeks ago,” he said, quelling the irritation her question had incited. “Some time after our dinner with Daisy,” he told her. “It's getting worse and I can’t stand it anymore, Tess. I'm doing this for her, _and_ for Ellie and Fred and Tom.” Tess nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer. He checked his watch. _Shit._ “I’ve got to get going.”

Tess nodded as he stood, reaching forward to envelop him in a hug. He acquiesced to the embrace, mindful that they had once shared everything. “Take care, Alec,” she said, and he could see the apprehension in her eyes. He tried to ignore it. It’d be fine. Routine procedure. “And you should tell her about it.”

He nodded at her, not bothering to specify in which manner he would break the news. “Goodbye, Tess.”

“Bye,” he heard from behind him as he left the café. He didn't turn back.

Σ

When he knocked on the Gillespies' back garden door she nearly laughed with relief.

“Everything alright?” she asked, after they’d stepped out into the garden. He nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, “it is.” He produced the flash drive and explained its provenance.

“You two left on good terms?”

“We did, actually,” he told her, sounding almost surprised.

“Good,” she said, nodding. Then she sighed. Explained the situation. Lucy not answering, Ollie not tweeting. They had to get back. _Something had happened._ Alec nodded.


	3. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long. This week gave me precious little time to write.I'm aware most of you have probably watched 2.07 already (I haven't, was waiting to finish this) but hopefully you still get some enjoyment out of this.

If the subsequent discovery of the secret garden door had left her unsettled, finding Claire Ripley wandering in a field like some sort of gothic wood nymph some time later left her disconcerted at the least.

Against her better judgement, she got out of the car and approached the woman, asking after her.

“Has he told you what he’s done?” Claire screeched at Ellie from across the field.

Ellie sighed, affirming the woman's question.

“So he's sent you along, has he? His pet, Ellie,” came Claire’s response.

Ellie ignored the barb. The woman seemed utterly beside herself, frantic and desperate and angry. Ellie knew Claire was only trying to get a rise out of her, and perhaps had become a little jealous of the relationship that the two former colleagues had with each other. The thought gave Ellie a little surge of satisfaction, even if she still didn't know what all had transpired between Claire, Lee, and the man in whose bed she'd spent the last two nights.

Ellie tried to explain that she'd only come to check on her.

Claire went on, screaming like a banshee, calling the quaint cottage that Alec had been renting for her, thrice the size of Ellie’s flat, a ‘shithole.’ Ellie would have had something to say about that if this display of Claire’s was not just exactly what they’d been hoping for.

“I've done nothing wrong and he just drops me like that,” the woman finished, whimpering in frustration. Ellie just watched, taking in Claire's demeanour, making note of everything to recount to Alec later. “Can I come and live with you?” Was she serious?

Ellie explained her current living situation, the flat that was barely big enough for her and Fred.

“What about your house in town?” Claire asked. She was getting more desperate now, and Ellie was tiring of it. There was no way she was letting this woman into the home she'd shared with her family, back when they were happy, back before that horrible thing had happened. She told Claire as such.

“I thought we were friends,” Claire said.

“Really?” Ellie asked, “I think you've been playing all of us.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don't know.” Ellie told her. _You tell me._

But Claire didn't bite, changing the subject back to Alec. “He's just jealous because I've slept with Lee.”

Ellie tried very hard to keep her expression neutral as she looked up at the near-hysterical woman in front of her. “He's not jealous of you and Lee, Claire,” she told her, exasperated.

“How do you know?” Claire asked, turning on Ellie, “you’ve no idea what happened!”

“I’ve got an idea,” Ellie replied, “but it was years ago. You really think he’s still holding on to that? He wants to solve this case. And he thinks you can help him. That's all.”

Claire turned to look at Ellie, a frown furrowing her brow. “He told you that?” she asked, the wind going out of her sails. She was watching Ellie with interest now, and Ellie could see the gears turning in her head.

She nodded. “Now, look, either you want protecting from Lee or you don't. You can't have it both ways.”

Claire started to fidget again. “When I see him, I just lose myself. It's...it's the sex, Ellie.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “It's just—something happens when we're together.” That desperate edge had come back into Claire’s voice.

“Oh, please,” Ellie said with as much disdain as she could muster. “Have a little self-control.” Ellie was aware that the fact that she'd been unable to restrain herself from shagging Alec Hardy for going on two nights now made her words somewhat hypocritical. But, she supposed, at least they could control themselves in each other’s’ presence for the remainder of the day. They could even work together without resorting to ravishing each other in the middle of a crime scene. “Look, if you want to be my friend, you tell me everything,” Ellie told her. She was tired of this runaround. She wanted the truth, and told Claire as much. “And then maybe I'll have a little word with Hardy about you.” Ellie added, taking a little satisfaction in having the upper hand here.

Claire seemed satisfied by this. “You come over and we'll talk. And maybe I can do your hair,” she told Ellie, who looked up at her self-consciously. Had it been that obvious she’d been putting much less effort into her appearance lately?

“Well, it's...I-I haven't done anybody's hair in a long time,” Claire explained. “Please?”

Ellie acquiesced, not particularly keen on spending time more time alone with her than was necessary. But this was something; leverage. Claire wanted back in Hardy’s good books. Ellie wondered if she’d be able to get anything out of her by playing along.

Σ

She was so distracted by the courtroom, and with finding out what had happened with Tom while they were gone, she failed to notice her former partner fall back and take a seat on the opposite side of the defendant’s box. She was riveted to Mark Latimer’s testimony, and as the solicitors’ questions revealed what her son had said, Alec Hardy was the last thing on her mind.

 _He perjured himself,_ she thought, _lied on the stand to save his murdering father!_ She was livid, livid and heartbroken as she watched Mark retell the night he nearly left his wife. Mark was a shit, too, that she’d know for a while, but he was her friend, and his son had been brutally murdered by Ellie’s own husband.

And then Beth was up and out of her seat, unable to listen to this latest of offences against her. Ellie was out of the courtroom and at Beth's side as fast as she could run. She didn’t care who saw, didn’t care if the stubborn cow still didn’t want her.

She found her in the stairwell and held her close, pulling her towards her. She’d missed this, comforting her friend. And she’d missed her friend. Missed living near them and having the kids play together.

And God knew Beth needed someone, too, with a new baby to care for, her mother dead and her husband’s sins laid bare now in a court of law.

“It's not Mark, it's Joe,” she heard herself say, and she repeated it like a mantra even after she managed to calm Beth’s tears and send her on her way.

She made her way through the atrium, down the stairs toward her sister and her eldest son, not caring one whit who was watching. She should have done this weeks ago, months! What was she thinking letting a twelve-year-old boy dictate her life to her? She was his bloody mother!

When she was finished, and tears threatening to fall, her heart hammering in her chest, she went back upstairs, collecting herself before reentering the courtroom. She hadn’t noticed Alec Hardy leaving just ahead of her earlier, overnight bag in hand.

But later the bombshell of Mark's visit to Joe in prison was dropped and the jury was forced to leave the room. Then she took out her phone and suddenly noticed his absence very acutely.

 _I'm having the pacemaker put in today. Should be done by 7_ , was all it said.

“You've got to be bloody kidding me,” she said to her phone before making a hasty exit from the courtroom.

Σ

“A text?”

“Don't start, Miller.” She shook her head.

“You sneak off and send me a text, knowing my phone won't be on in the courtroom.”

“I'll give you money to shut up.” She was incredibly tempted to smack him. She should have brought a bag of grapes. With seeds this time.

“I'll give you more money to be less of a knob," she told him, not even trying to hide the hurt from her voice.

“I made it, Ellie!” he told her, and she could barely look at him, too fucking angry and terrified right then to even acknowledge him. “I made it through,” he exclaimed, laughing. She made her way around the bed, to the open side, pulling up a chair as he grasped for her hand. She gave it to him, holding it tight in hers in spite of herself.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“You'd only come and sit with me,” he said, motioning to her doing just that.

“What is wrong with you?! Alec, for god’s sake, I could be the mother of your child, here.”

“Not yet, Miller, we've only done it, what, twice?” he said and the flippancy of his tone hurt.

“Yeah, well, didn’t you listen when you were a teenager? It only takes once,” Ellie told him, irked at him for making light of what they’d shared. “What if you'd died and left me with three kids to raise? Our relationship just starting out, you tragically die, leaving me unwed and pregnant. Might as well sew a big red A on the front of my top, the way they’d talk about me round here.”

“It’s not the 1950s anymore,” he told her, his little smirk of incredulousness pissing her off.

“I’m only saying that you’d’ve left me in quite the dilemma. You’ve seen the way things get misunderstood around here. Everyone would be so sure it’d been going on the whole time.”

“I had the surgery, that was our deal,” he told her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” His apology was sincere, or as sincere as Alec Hardy could make it. She nodded at him as some of the tension left her body.

“When did you arrange it?” she asked, suddenly struck by the fact that he’d managed to get this scheduled rather quickly.

“Couple weeks ago,” he said, quietly.

“Are you kidding me? Why didn't you tell me then? Two nights ago?”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry.” Ellie sighed before another thought struck her.

“Did you tell Tess? When you met up with her in Sandbrook?”

“Possibly.”

“Alec!”

“She needed to know, for Daisy’s sake,” he told her. Ellie opened her mouth to speak. “And before you ask, no, I did not tell Daisy either. For the same reason I didn’t tell you,” he said. Ellie took a couple of breaths to steady herself. He was a knob, but he supposed he was correct in that he’d held up his part of the bargain. And he was alive! She almost laughed at that realisation, or would have, had she not still been livid with him.

“How does it feel?” she asked after a while, trying to keep her tone neutral.

“I don't know,” he said, his free hand going to his chest. “Steadier?” he smiled up at her and she was helpless to follow.

“You have no idea what a weight this takes off me,” she said, quietly. Alec reached over to her, pulling her arm across his middle. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“You're welcome,” he told her, giving her head a quick peck. They sat there in companionable silence for a while. “How soon will you know if you’re pregnant or not?” he asked.

“Why? Trying to plan your escape?”

“Miller!” he groaned, and she laughed in spite of herself.

“Well, not yet, it takes a while for it to show up. A week or two.” She paused, counting back the days. “The timing’s right, though, from my last period. I could still take that pill. Nip it in the bud?”

“What do you want to do?” he asked, and she loved him for it. She smiled.

“I don't know. Fate _has_ been rather cruel to us lately. And here I am in a situation where either outcome is favourable.” She turned her head to look at his face, waiting for an argument. She got none. “So let’s let fate decide.”

“Sounds good to me,” he told her and she smiled into his shoulder. She just held him for a while, happy that he was here, and alive, and she that was here with him. That they had this, when there was so much other shit going on.

“I do need a lift home later, though,” he said after a while.

“I can't,” she told him softly, “I'm picking Fred up from Lucy's and I'm bringing Tom home.”

“You what?” he asked, lifting his head to look at her. “How’d you manage that?”

“Told him off, in front of half the town at the courthouse.” She laughed, and turned to see a big smile on Alec’s face.

“Good for you,” he said.

“I should have done that months ago,” she told him. Alec shrugged.

“You did what you could, Miller,” he murmured. “Try not to beat yourself up over it.”

“Oh? You’re one to talk,” she said, and he laughed. They sat that way for a little while longer before the sound of throat being cleared brought them out of their reverie.

Ellie turned to see Tess Hardy standing a few feet from the end of Alec’s bed, an almost smug look on her face. Ellie pulled away from Alec at once, standing in a flash.

“We were just—” Ellie started, feeling somewhat like she was being caught out.

“It’s okay, Miller, she knows,” came Alec’s voice from her left.

“What? How?”

“Well _I_ didn’t tell her,” he remarked, looking at his former wife.

“I can read him like a book,” Tess offered, “always could.”

“Imagine being married to _that_ ,” he quipped, and Ellie turned to give him a smack on the shoulder. “Miller!”

“Behave yourself, then,” she said, turning to see Tess watching them with an almost wistful smile on her face.

“She’s good for you, Alec,” his ex-wife told him. He groaned.

“Why did I have to survive this?" he asked, and Ellie had to smile. She glanced at the time on her phone and nearly had a heart attack.

“Oh, Christ, I’ve got to go,” she said, turning to Tess. “Can you—”

“I’d be glad to,” she offered, looking at Alec. “Doctors recommend you stay in.” He groaned.

“Take me home,” he said, and Tess nodded, sharing a smile with Ellie.

“Alright,” Ellie told him, “I’ll see you later.” She bent down and kissed him softly on the lips, mindful of Tess’s presence, but finding it hard to care too much. For once, things didn't feel like shit. “I’m glad you’re alive, Alec.”

“Well, we’ll see how long that lasts,” he told her, and she laughed, in spite of herself. Then, bidding Tess adieu, she left to meet up with Claire Ripley.

∑

A sense of peace had come over Ellie at being back home with her sons, despite her earlier discovery of Claire Ripley wearing Pippa Gillespie’s pendant. She would call Tess later, let them both know, and check on how Alec was faring.

But for now, she was home. _Home._ With both her boys, in the house they grew up in. No more tiny flat, no more tiny waterside hut (though she had to admit Alec’s little house had been growing on her.) Finally they would make this home theirs again. They all needed this constancy, this routine. They needed to keep grounded.

Because the trial was far from over, and if she was right about what Claire’s photograph meant, they were in for a very difficult few weeks.

But Ellie tried not to think about that as she helped Tom paint the ruddy bedroom walls that Joe’d always been too busy to do. Tonight they’d all bed down in their house, the three of them against the world. Maybe Alec would join them eventually.

But tomorrow was far away. Tonight they would rest.


	4. Building a Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part A of 2.07

Ellie awoke the next morning with a slight sense of disorientation. She'd slept in so many different beds over the past few weeks, towing her son from place to place like some sort of nomad, that every morning she found herself momentarily confused. But this bed felt familiar. The sounds, too. The birds and the traffic outside. The soft sound of snores beside her that were not Fred's and decidedly not Alec Hardy's.

And for a second she was taken back to the past as she realized she was in her own bed again, in her own house; she and Joe were married and happy, and she had to go to work while he would stay with the boys. It was an arrangement that worked for them, that made her look forward to her day.

She knew the boys were safe and looked after, and Joe would often bring them to see her at breaks. And she was as free to throw herself into her job as any man was, free to work as much as she needed and even aspire to get a promotion if she wished.

But that illusion was shattered when she opened her eyes to see the sloping walls of their bedroom painted uniformly white. It'd been finished, and as her brain came awake she remembered that Joe had never gotten the chance to do it. He was remanded and on trial for the murder of Danny Latimer. Alec Hardy had gotten her promotion, and then lost it after he was deemed medically unfit. And she was working as a PC in Devon, but spending most of her time at the courthouse or with Hardy, trying to solve the Sandbrook case.

But all was not lost. She was back home in the house where their family had had their best years. And, as she turned over to see her eldest son sleeping soundly next to her, Tom was home with her again. No longer at her sister's where she worried over him constantly.

Lucy had a good heart and good intentions, but her skills as a mother and a wife left quite a bit to be desired. Ollie had managed to come through relatively unscathed, but he could be a little shit sometimes, could be impulsive and capricious. She didn't want that for Tom.

And there was something else that gave her a little jolt of excitement as she lay there in the early-morning light next to her sleeping son. Alec Hardy. They'd started something, three nights ago. Something that had felt so right to her, right away, it had been like pieces falling into place. She was almost disconcerted by the lack of anxiety and self-doubt she'd had over the beginning of this relationship of theirs. And for someone who had many times been accused of thinking too much, this was rare.

In fact, it had strengthened her, given her confidence and hope and something to look forward to as the days dragged by, the trial testing her resolve and that of nearly everyone involved in it.

She felt as though they were laying the foundation for the future. Eventually, life wouldn't be like this. Her husband would no longer be on trial and would no longer be her husband, and Claire Ripley, Lee Ashworth, and the Gillespies would be distant memories.

Whether Joe got off (he wouldn't), or whether they arrested a suspect for Sandbrook (they would), life would go on. Things would start to settle. Her boys would need a father figure and it wasn't going to be Joe Miller, even if Sharon Bishop did manage to sway the jury and a sentence. He wasn't getting anywhere near them.

And if her and Alec's impetuous first night together had consequences (at times she almost found herself hoping it did, if only to have something that no one else could touch, something of their own) there would be another little life needing care in a few months' time.

Just the thought of them together in this house made her smile; her and Alec, Tom and Fred. And baby makes five. Maybe they'd have a little girl this time, a sister for Daisy and Tom to dote over like Chloe did Lizzie. A little raven-haired wisp of girl like her father who would bring their families together, mend the scars wrought by both of their spouses.

They'd all live in this house, and Daisy'd visit from time to time. Maybe she and Tom could be friends and they could do things together, the six of them, and go out as one big group. Alec attempting to appear irritated but failing. Kids talking left and right, Fred and the baby babbling.

Alec. Just the thought of him this morning gave her a rush of pleasure. She thought of him in an entirely different light now. Everything that had irked her about him, well, it still did. But less so. He had been there for her when no one else was, and continued to be. Excitement and anticipation bubbled inside her at the thought of him healthy again. She didn't have to worry about him dropping dead on her anymore. He'd live a normal life now.

The first time he'd collapsed had been enough to scare the shit out of her and she'd only known him then for a few weeks. She was excited to see him as he was before this ailment had handicapped him, to see him whole again. Someone with their life returned to them who could run about and chase after suspects without getting breathless. Someone who could have a glass of wine or beer, go for a swim or ride a bike. All the things that made life worth living. All the things he'd been unable to do.

It was as though solving the Sandbrook & Broadchurch murders seemed to be the only things he took pleasure in.

And, she supposed, Ellie herself, of late. That thought gave her a little heady tingle as she went back to that first night with him. It had been nice. Different than what she was used to (although she almost didn't want to think about her sex life with Joe, considering what had happened) but really lovely. Never, when she'd shaken his hand that day on that beach, not quite a year ago next to Danny Latimer's dead body, did she believe they'd ever be more than colleagues. And now? Now he was her future.

But Fred's loud, hungry cries rang out a moment later, and Ellie was forced to stir from her reverie. Tom woke beside her and she watched her eldest as he oriented himself in this room again, with its new paint job. He looked around in confusion for a few seconds before she saw recognition dawn on him. He looked at his mother.

"We're back," he said.

"We are," she told him, unable to keep the smile from her face. She had missed this boy so much, and she had missed so much of his life. How had she let it go on for so long? He should have been here, with her and with his brother this whole time.

"I've missed you, Mum," he said next, and a great big wide grin broke out on her face. She bent down to kiss his forehead. "And the house. I miss Dad in it, but I don't, you know what I mean?"

Ellie nodded. "I know exactly what you mean." That Joe was gone. The one now was an imitation, a different man altogether. She patted his head then turned to get out of bed. "Come on, let's get your brother and you fed. I've got to take him to the minder's and you've got school."

"Where are you going?" Tom asked, still abed, as she neared the bedroom door. She stopped, turning to him.

"To Hardy's place," she told him, "we're working on a case."

"I thought he wasn't a police officer anymore."

"He's not," Ellie said, shaking her head. "But that hasn't stopped him." She made to leave the room, but Tom spoke again.

"Mum," he started, his tone low and serious, and Ellie's stomach dropped, "What the solicitor said, about you and him. That wasn't true, was it?"

Ellie froze, forcing herself to breathe normally. "No, of course it wasn't," she told him with an air of disgust, summoning the her from several weeks ago who'd taken those accusations.

"Okay," he said, seemingly satisfied. He threw back the covers and started to get out of bed. Ellie made for Fred's room, relief flooding her. She was off the hook for now. But he'd have to be told eventually. If she and Alec carried on like they had been. But not now. She'd just got him back. No sense in alienating him all over again.

She went to get Fred from his cot. She planned to drop by the cottage before going to Hardy's hut. Claire had some explaining to do.

Σ

She entered later to find Tess admiring Ellie's cork board of Sandbrook clues, tea in hand. The house was silent, the waves and seagulls the only sounds to be heard.

"Morning," the woman said to her. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, actually," Ellie told her. "Boys are settled back at home." Tess nodded, turning to smile at Ellie. "Bit strange, though, to be honest. Keep thinking he's going to walk back through the door. But not him, you know, the 'him' from before." Ellie shook her head, laughing, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, you probably don't want—"

"Ellie," Tess began, "gab away, I don't mind. Alec hasn't been very good company."

"How is he?" she asked, looking toward his room to see a long, immobile shape beneath the covers.

"As good as can be," she said, taking a sip of her tea. "He's been sleeping for about twelve hours." She came back over to set it down on what had once been the kitchen table but was now piled with papers and case files, photographs and sticky notes. "Should be up soon. I was just going to put the kettle on again, you want one?"

"Sure, I'd love a cuppa," Ellie told her, taking a seat at the table and taking a look at the papers piled there. She would let Alec sleep, let him get his strength back. It would be a long day, he'd need it. "Any luck?" Ellie asked Tess as she puttered about in the kitchen. "With the case, I mean?"

Tess shook her head. "Not yet, but I'm optimistic." She pointed toward the board Ellie'd put together with its accumulated notes and photographs. "I must say I'm impressed by the work you two have put in."

"Er, that was me, I'm afraid," Ellie told her, smile sheepishly. "Had a bit too much coffee and a bit too much on my mind. He left me here and went off traipsing after Claire and Lee. Couldn't help myself." Tess's eyebrows went up in surprise at Ellie's admission. There was a flash of something else across the woman's fine features. Not jealousy, but something like it. Possessiveness, maybe.

"Well, then, I'm really impressed. You didn't even know the case."

"Didn't need to, really, from all Alec has talked about it." Tess's expression was unreadable. "Plus the case files were very thorough. You two did a good job, you know, before the…" Ellie didn't want to finish. It wasn't her place to get into what'd happened to the two of them and the case. But Tess smiled at Ellie, no hint of any hard feelings.

"We tried," she told her. Tess paused, turned pensive, "But without the pendant there was nothing. No physical evidence, no crime scene, no Lisa. Pippa's autopsy turned up very little. Lee and Claire were anything but forthcoming and the Gillespies….well, I'm sure you've met them by now."

"I have," Ellie said, smirking, "an hour of my life I'll never get back." Tess smiled mirthlessly. At the mention of Claire Ellie was reminded of what she'd found at the cottage. "She's gone, Claire is, by the way. Stopped in before I came here. There was residue of a burnt photograph in the sink. Other than that, nothing. She can't have gone far."

At this, Tess came over to sit opposite Ellie on the arm of the sofa. She rolled her cup of tea between her hands, thinking.

"She's scared," Tess said.

"Yeah, but of what? Of Lee? Of us? I can't figure her out. What did you think of her, back in the beginning?"

"To be honest," Tess said, and Ellie could tell by the way her words were stripped of any affectation that this was the absolute truth, "I've never known what to make of Claire Ripley." She turned to look out the window at the harbour. "I could never read her. Alec, too. But he believed she was a victim from the start, he trusted her. I don't, never have."

"Me neither," Ellie said. "Even before I saw the photograph." Ellie went back over those few times they'd been alone together, her and Claire. She tried to figure out what her gut told her. "I don't think she's killed anyone; not on purpose, anyways. But she's hiding something."

"I think you're right," Tess said, taking a slow sip of tea. "I can see why you and Alec work so well together."

Ellie smiled, shrugging. "It wasn't always that way. I was…different before Danny's murder. We didn't get on at first. Alec stole my job, came in and set to making me suspect everyone in town." She smiled, thinking back to those early days when they clashed so often. When she'd only had the Latimers' grief to deal with. Before Hardy had told her it'd been Joe. "Sometimes I think he didn't do a good enough job."

Tess smiled at Ellie uncomfortably, reaching forward to pat her arm. "Husbands and wives are good at hiding things from each other, Ellie. He knew if you'd had any clue, he'd lose everything. So he hid it. You weren't supposed to know."

"I wish I had," Ellie told her. God, she wished she had. She'd've taken the boys away and made sure Danny was safe. She could have. If she'd not been so wrapped up in her own life. In Florida, in Lucy's latest shenanigans, in her stupid promotion. "Anyway," she said, shaking her head. "No use going over that now. Where should I start?" Tess pointed to a pile of papers on the table.

"I've been through those but I didn't see anything I haven't seen before. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes will help?"

Ellie nodded, and settled in, scanning the documents, looking for anything that stuck out to her. Tess brought her some tea and the two of them fell into a comfortable enough silence.

Ellie couldn't help sneaking peeks at the man sleeping in his room off the kitchen. It was the longest she'd been away from him in the past three days and she realized with the glimpse of his face, slack and vulnerable and surprisingly youthful in sleep, that she'd missed him. Missed the feel of his slim body next to hers, the warmth that radiated from him and the worrying, yet comforting, quick pace of his heart.

She missed seeing the peace on his face as he slept, his freckles in the early morning light and the delicate skin around his eyes. His waking hours were filled with such turmoil that she relished those few moments of calm.

When he began to stir she couldn't help but watch him wake. Watched as his confusion turned to surprise, as he registered where he was and what'd happened. His hand went to his chest as he turned to see her eyes on him. She was already smiling, she found, when his eyes met hers, and the grin that broke out on his face soon after left her breathless. Blimey, he's gorgeous, she thought.

How had she not noticed it before? The way his pyjama bottoms clung to his hips as he rose and made his way into the kitchen. His sleep-tousled hair and that loping gait of his. She took a breath. Now was not the time for lusting after her former partner, especially while his ex-wife sat nearby. They had work to do, after all.

He was gingerly pulling a grey jumper over his head as he neared her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. She reached up as he did so, patting his hand.

"How you feeling?" she asked, looking up at him. Tess offered him a tea and he accepted, sitting down on the sofa opposite her.

"Like a new man," he said, tapping his chest. He certainly seemed to have recovered some of his pep. Ellie smiled.

"Well, that's great because Claire's gone from the house," she told him, explaining the ash and the photograph. She handed him the picture of Pippa holding the teddy bear and watched as the realization dawned on his face. Tess came by with his tea, placing it on the table in front of him.

"She's panicking," Alec said, already breathless, looking to Tess for validation. He got none.

She tried to bring him back down to earth with the facts. She didn't believe Claire had killed Pippa. She'd had no motive, and Ellie didn't think she had it in her. "Unless she was grooming Pippa for Lee," she suggested, even as the thought turned her stomach. Alec merely sipped his tea, deep in thought.

Tess's voice interrupted them as she recognized Gary Thorp's name. And even with the explanation of his connection to the incinerator and the wedding, and Alec's pleading brown eyes, it still wasn't enough to convince Tess to reopen the case. Ellie rolled her eyes.

Christ, what's it going to take? CCTV footage of Lee killing Pippa? Even then…Ellie thought. She liked Tess well enough, but the woman almost seemed to take pleasure in denying her former husband what he wanted most. And it wasn't as if Alec's motives were selfish—he simply wanted to solve the case for Pippa and her parents, and for Lisa, who, alive or dead, deserved to have her story told.

Ellie didn't like it. They wouldn't be in this mess now if Tess hadn't broken protocol to shag her colleague instead of transporting the evidence in the correct manner. And yet she still lorded it over them.

"What're you two gonna do?" Tess asked, as if she'd taken control of the investigation herself. Ellie resisted rolling her eyes once more.

"Miller," came Alec's voice and she looked up at him. "I'm going to need to you to give Claire once last chance to confess."

"Oh are you?" she asked, getting a little irked by being bossed around by these two. She was the one who'd discovered the Gary Thorp clue, had put all the evidence together. She'd started reinvestigating the case when Alec'd all but given up. "How 'bout a 'please?'"

Alec's expression softened, as he looked over at Tess, and then at Ellie. He hesitated for a second before getting up off the sofa and stepping over to her.

"Miller," he said, his tone measured, and she looked up at him. "Can you please track down Claire and try to get a confession out of her? She doesn't trust us. You're the only one who's got a chance."

Ellie sighed, looking up at him. He looked so much healthier. His colour was better, his posture had straightened. He didn't seem to be in any pain. And his eyes were on her, pleading as usual, but she could see there was a warmth there that hadn't been there before. He wasn't selfishly demanding she do his bidding. He really did need her.

"Fine," she said. "Not like I've got anything better to do." She stood and Alec reached forward and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"How was your first night back?" He asked, his voice low enough that Tess couldn't hear. Ellie smiled. He was trying, she'd give him that.

"Good, actually. Few tears, but that's to be expected." She sighed. "Tom asked about…us. About the accusation in court."

"What'd you say?" Alec asked, slightly alarmed.

"Denied it, flat out," she said. "He's not ready, and I don't even know what I'd tell him in the first place. I don't even think we know what we're doing." She tried to keep the hurt from her eyes. He hadn't wanted to label this; he'd been clear about that from the start. But she needed to know that there was something here. A future. Alec looked away out at the harbour, then back at her.

"I need to solve this case, Miller. We both do. I need to close the book on Pippa's killer once and for all. Then we can figure out what we're...doing." His eyes were shining and bright in the morning sun. She could see the flecks of gold and amber, and was momentarily struck by how lovely he really was.

"Fine," she said, if only to get him to stop looking at her like that. She glanced over to see Tess poring over the evidence board once more, seemingly oblivious to the two of them. Ellie leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips, relishing in the feel of him against her once more, even if just for a few seconds. "I'll let you know how it goes."

Alec nodded and Ellie turned to leave, glancing at Tess before stepping out the door. The woman was still curiously entranced by the papers affixed to the pinboard, but Ellie suspected she'd heard and seen the entirety of their exchange.

She smirked, and left Alec to deal with her.


End file.
